I'm not looking forward to the waking up early part. Or actually the wedding part. Or the reception part. But I am looking forward to the meaningless sex with some random guy I meet at the reception part.
I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
Randomize
