So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
Randomize
