you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
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