you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
Randomize