you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
Paycheck hits in 37 minutes and I literally just emptied my handle of Tito's. If that isn't budgeting like a fucking adult, I don't know what is.
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
Randomize
