Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
I only kidnapped one of them. chill
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
Randomize
