Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
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