Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
I puked a lego.
so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
Randomize
