Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
Listening to my boss get blown in the next room by a male bartender from the gay bar. And watching pawnstars. Tell me I'm not the best wingman ever.
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
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