woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
She even gives head with a lisp.
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
My legs feel like baby dolphins
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
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