Listen the way I know if I'm drunk is if I have stage fright in the pisser if I do then I'm not drunk! And I definitely still do right now!
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
I woke up to a quacking alarm clock and a rando in my bed. I told him I liked his cargo shorts. Fireball is not my soulmate anymore.
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
He dared you to draw a map of the USA on your wall in mustard. You drew something that vaguely resembled a velociraptor eating Oklahoma, got embarrassed because you forgot how to spell America, then hid out in the coat closet until everybody left.
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
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