Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
I'm way too hungover for life right now
I went to bed early to get up and have a cup of coffee and watch a Sunday sunrise; and again you come home with no shirt and more stamps than my passport. Get the fuck up now, you are taking an Uber to waffle house. The order is in you name.
as a side note pls kill me
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
I showed up drunk and covered in glitter, smelling like stale booze and dirty stripper and my younger brother gave thanks his life wasn’t a shitshow like mine
That’s how my thanksgiving went
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