He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
Randomize
