doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
last night i told the bartender i only have 3 days left to live so i wouldnt have to pay for drinks
this morning i woke up with a nothing but a pair of what i believe are fairy wings on - and the bartender in my bed
he thinks ill be dead by monday and still came home w me.. WTF?
messed up. what color are the wings?
Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
New definition for "rock bottom": Waking up in a puddle of your own puke, missing your fake tooth. Then having to dig through said puddle of puke for aforementioned fake tooth. Think it's time I quit partying so hard.
Is this your way of breaking up with me as my wingman?
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
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