He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Randomize