3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
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