why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
Randomize
