I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
On a brief change if topic, last night I dreamt I got shit faced with bill Nye the science guy and we went bar to bar and explained the science of alcohol to everyone who'd give us free drinks. We wore bow ties
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
Randomize
