What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
I woke up with dick mouth, a raw vagina, an empty bottle of vodka and the best man next to me. I also found my thong by the pool. Best.Wedding.Ever.
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
i like how i just referred to his pregnant wife as the "other" melissa and you didn't even judge me.
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
Randomize
