you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
Randomize
