I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
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