Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
After tacos, we're chasing women.
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
Randomize
