I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
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