It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
Randomize
