I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
Randomize
