You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Randomize
