I'm going to jail i love you
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
Randomize
