I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
Randomize
