3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize
