Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
Randomize
