There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
If the Four Horseman of the Apocalypse gang banged each other and had a kid, it would look like the creature I woke up next to this morning.
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
Randomize
