am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
Bagel with cream cheese. It's blowing my fucking mind.
How high are you right now..
I MICROWAVED IT. SIGNIFICANT IMPROVEMENT.
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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