Haym$ered
turn off your phone and go to bed
umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
I skipped work to stalk him.
I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
Randomize
