Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
Randomize
