why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
Why is there a cactus in the microwave?
Don't worry about it.
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
Randomize
