I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
Accidentally mixed my gin with cold brew coffee instead of cranberry juice. It’s bad. But I’ll finish it. Never leave a fallen soldier.
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