This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize