I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
Randomize
