I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
I have two black x marks on my hands.
Yep you got cut off last night after a stripper bent over in front of you and you screamed very loudly 'I can see your soul from here'
damnit I wish I could remember that.
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Randomize
