I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
I just saw a dog and thought "Hey! A goat!" Then realized it was a dog. Now I'm sad.
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
Randomize
