he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
A part of me realizes this is a bad time to text. But I override it with my awesomeness
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Randomize
