I just walked into the kitchen and my dad was having this uber serious convo
With himself
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
NoShamevember. You game?
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
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