Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
Pretty sure one of my drivers stopped to get laid while he was delivering a pizza. Is it appropriate to give him a write-up AND a high-five?
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
Randomize
