I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
When the bouncer doesn't let you in... Don't ask him where he works so you could file a complaint with the better business bureau... It only proves him right.
It's 5 PM...and you're 35. Congrats on being an amazing human being.
Randomize
