YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
I can’t believe the first text I’m sending you from this phone was about how I just got fingered in a smart car on tin can hill
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
Randomize
