Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
It was a blind-side dick pic.
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
Randomize
