the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
So I was throwing up in this fancy toilet at a party last night, when he decided it would be funny to flush it. It was a beday. I had to walk out with toilet water and regurgitated rumpleminze all over my face and shirt.
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
how was last night?
i woke up with my hand stuck in a jam jar with my keys in the bottom and a dog licking peanut butter off my boobs. you tell me.
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
So squirting runs in the family.
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
