don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
This baby is an asshole
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Randomize
