I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize
