the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
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