I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
Randomize
