My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
Just drug him and when he wakes up say "You just woke up from a coma, we've been married for 5 years." It'll be like The Vow but fucked up.
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
what the fuck happened to the tacos
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
Randomize
