I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
Randomize
