Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
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